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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27147313">Something Frightening</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucidscreamer/pseuds/lucidscreamer'>lucidscreamer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>October 2020 [14]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Labyrinth (1986)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Humor, POV Female Character, Paperwork, Parody, Silly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:03:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,138</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27147313</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucidscreamer/pseuds/lucidscreamer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A familiar tale takes an unfamiliar turn and Sarah Williams discovers the true horror of the Labyrinth. (Parody)</p><p> </p><p>  <em>Welcome to the Castle Beyond the Goblin City! This form has been specifically designed to make your 13 hour stay as educational as possible. Please fill out each segment to the best of your ability!</em></p><p> Section One (A): So You've Wished Someone Away</p><p>1. You have stupidly wished away your (check one):  __ son   __ daughter  __non-binary child __ beloved (but apparently annoying) pet   __ other (please specify)</p><p>2. Relationship to Wished Away (check one): __mother  __father __incubator  __stork  __cabbage  [If you checked "other" for question one, refer to Form WrACS120b.]</p><p>3. Amount of Goblin Ale (to the nearest keg) currently in your possession: _____  [Please note that this will be confiscated immediately.]</p><p>4. Amount of Goblin Ale in Wished Away's possession: ______ [Ditto.]</p><p>5. Blue: __yes  __no  __sausage [If not blue, refer to Form NB463veg. If sausage, refer to castle cook.]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jareth &amp; Sarah Williams</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>October 2020 [14]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1946449</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Something Frightening</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: Labyrinth is the creation of Jim Henson (in collaboration with other talented individuals). No ownership of the canon characters, settings, or events is claimed and none should be implied. </p><p>Prompts:<br/>1. Welcome to My Nightmare (31 Days of Halloween)<br/>39. Psychological (Horror 50)</p><p>This started as a silly scene playing in my head as I woke up one morning and was written in one sitting (though edited later, of course). The whole time I was imagining scenes -- and later as I was writing it -- "Magic Dance" was playing in my head, so I suppose the title was inevitable. Some dialogue is taken (or paraphrased) from the film. If you've seen it (and if not, why haven't you? Go watch it!), you'll recognize it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Sarah wished her baby brother away in a fit of teenage pique, then reneged on the deal as soon as the goblins turned up to collect, she really had had no idea what she was getting herself into. The Goblin King had been by turns intimidating, amused, and then seemingly exasperated as he offered her the chance to win her brother back back solving his labyrinth.</p><p>So it was something of a shock to her when, after she accepted the challenge, they appeared in what looked like the throne room of a medieval castle rather than near anything remotely maze-like. She gaped at her surroundings for a few seconds, then said, "I thought--"</p><p>"Oh, you did?" The king's voice was falsely cheery. Mocking. "Was it a new experience for you?"</p><p>She glared at him. The Goblin King ignored her and settled on his throne with Toby perched on one knee. Nothing else happened, except for the goblins -- a horde of disgusting little creatures like something out of a nightmare -- staring at her in apparent anticipation. Finally, she broke down and asked. "I thought I was supposed to solve your labyrinth to get Toby back?"</p><p>When the king turned his head to look at her, his expression made her think he'd forgotten all about her until she'd spoken. "Oh. Yes." He waved his hand in a languid gesture. "It's over there."</p><p>Following the direction of his wave, she spotted... a small writing desk with spindly legs and an equally spindly chair beside it. There was an ink well and a bedraggled quill that might have come from the vulture she'd spotted nesting above the throne. As she watched, a thick stack of paper appeared on top of the desk. Confused, she glanced back at the king.</p><p>He frowned at her. "Well?"</p><p>"What? I don't understand..."</p><p>"Fill out the forms, you silly girl!"</p><p>Supposing that made as much sense as anything else that had happened since she'd wished Toby away, Sarah trudged over to the desk and sat down. Her brow furrowed as she read over the top page of the paperwork.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p><br/>
<em>Welcome to the Castle Beyond the Goblin City! This form has been specifically designed to make your 13 hour stay as educational as possible. Please fill out each segment to the best of your ability!</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <strong>Section One (A): So You've Wished Someone Away </strong>
  </p>
  <p>1. You have stupidly wished away your (check one):  __ son   __ daughter  __non-binary child __ beloved (but apparently annoying) pet   __ other (please specify)</p>
  <p>2. Relationship to Wished Away (check one): __mother  __father __incubator  __stork  __cabbage  [If you checked "other" for question one, refer to Form WrACS120b.]</p>
  <p>3. Amount of Goblin Ale (to the nearest keg) currently in your possession: _____  [Please note that this will be confiscated immediately.]</p>
  <p>4. Amount of Goblin Ale in Wished Away's possession: ______ [Ditto.]</p>
  <p>5. Blue: __yes  __no  __sausage [If not blue, refer to Form NB463veg. If sausage, refer to castle cook.]</p>
</blockquote><p><br/>
Sarah's brain hurt. If all the questions were like this, she'd need every one of those thirteen hours just to try to make sense of them. "Who came up with this nonsense?" </p><p>"Goblins."</p><p>Not having expected an answer to her mumbled question, it took her a second to realize that the voice (which originated somewhere around knee height) was speaking to her. She glanced down to find one of the goblins -- this one a kind of greenish-gray blob with bulging eyes and a beaky nose -- leaning on one wobbly leg of the desk. "What?"</p><p>"His Majesty lets goblins come up with stuff to go in the paperwork," the goblin said, little chest puffing out proudly. It adjusted the funnel it as wearing as a hat or possibly a helmet. "Says we do a bang-up job, very confusing. Whoever's most confusing wins a chicken!"</p><p>Well, she couldn't argue with that. Turning her attention back to the task at hand, Sarah sighed and lifted the quill, which promptly dripped ink all over her hand. Time to get to work. <em>Come on, brain</em>...</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p><br/>
Sarah spent fifteen frustrating minutes trying her best to fill in the initial form before she realized it was futile, and not just because the awful quill kept blotting ink all over the paper, the desk, her, and any goblin that ventured too close. "Um, sir? Your Majesty?"</p><p>The Goblin King glanced at her from where he was sprawled on his throne, entertaining a gleeful Toby with a hand puppet. "Yes?"</p><p>"I can't answer most of these questions." She chewed on her lip uncertainly before deciding to elaborate. "I mean, I <em>can</em>... but not truthfully, because I'm not Toby's mother." </p><p>The king's sharply slanted eyebrows rose -- and then so did he, getting up from the throne and striding over to the desk to examine her work. He huffed and pointed at a near-by goblin. "This is the wrong form! This one is for a Wisher who's a <em>parent</em>. Take it away and fetch form WA1986<em>Sibling</em>-f."</p><p>The goblin snatched the paper off the desk and scurried away. Turning back to Sarah, the king gave her a falsely sympathetic look. "Terribly sorry, Sarah--"</p><p>"Oh, that's--"</p><p>"--It appears you'll have to go back to the beginning," he continued without missing a beat.</p><p>"That's not fair!" She was pretty sure her face fell so hard it made a thudding noise as it hit the stone floor. Obviously entertained by his big sister's funny expression, Toby clapped his hands. </p><p>For his part, the Goblin King just threw back his head and laughed. When no one else joined in, he scowled at the goblins. "<em>Well</em>?"</p><p>The entire room (barring Sarah) exploded with laughter. Even the returning goblin, barely visible behind the stack of paper it was carrying, chortled nastily as it set the new forms on Sarah's desk.</p><p>For her part, Sarah just cursed under her breath and picked up the hated quill.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p><br/>
After what felt like forever, but according to the floating clock over by the throne had only been an hour and thirteen minutes, Sarah looked up from her work to find the king looming over her again.</p><p>He smiled. It wasn't a nice smile. In fact, it made the hackles on the back of her neck stand up and she had to fight the urge to stab him with the quill. In a voice like sin, he said, "How are you enjoying my paperwork, Sarah?"</p><p>"It's a piece of cake," she snapped.</p><p>"How about upping the stakes?" Expression hardening, the king stepped back and pointed at the clock. A twist of his wrist spun the hands ahead to take away hours of her remaining time. "A piece of cake, is it? Let's see how you deal with this little slice."</p><p>A new stack of papers, easily twice as thick as the first, appeared atop the existing forms on the desk. Staring indignantly at the additional work, she couldn't stop herself from exclaiming again, "That's not fair!"</p><p>"You say that so often," the king mused, expression shifting from self-satisfied to contemptuous. "I wonder what your basis for comparison is."</p><p><em>Damn it</em>. This was what her step-mother was always harping about when she said Sarah needed to think before she spoke. Hand clenching on the battered quill, she scowled at the Goblin King's departing back and slumped into her chair. The paper mountain loomed higher than her head but she wasn't going to give up. She'd show him! Sarah Williams was not about to be defeated by mere paperwork, no matter how ridiculous or how copious.</p><p>A snapping sound drew her attention to the quill -- now in two pieces on the desk -- and she cursed again. How was she going to fill out these stupid forms now? With a kind of desperate speculation, she eyed the chickens inexplicably infesting the throne room. Then she shook herself and got a grip on her teetering sanity. No, she wasn't desperate enough to try plucking a live chicken. Not yet. Instead, she grabbed a passing goblin (probably... he was small and grubby and thoroughly unpleasant at any rate) and bribed him with her plastic bracelet to find her a replacement quill.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p><br/>
Several hours, one fresh quill, and a small eternity later, Sarah leaned back in her chair and tried to massage feeling into her cramped wrist and fingers. For a moment, she basked in the warm glow of well-earned triumph. Through headaches untold and inkblots unnumbered, she'd fought her way here to the final page of the final form beyond the Goblin City. Or something. What mattered was that the stupid paperwork was finally complete! </p><p>With a flourish of her quill, Sarah signed her name on the last blank on the last page and then held the paper triumphantly aloft. She waved it at the Goblin King, ready to wipe that stupid smirk off his unfairly handsome face. "Finished! Now give me back my brother!"</p><p>"Oh, dear," the Goblin King said, in the same honeyed, falsely sympathetic tone he'd used when telling her she had to start over. "Did you think that was all of it? No, no. <em>That</em> form--" A graceful gesture showcased the paper clutched in her slowly white-knuckling grip. "--is merely the pre-preliminary paperwork. Now--"</p><p>And the smirk was back, though it was morphing into a full-blown, sharp-toothed grin (rather like a hungry shark sensing a floundering swimmer doused in barbeque sauce -- or a goblin crushing a hapless human's hopes and dreams). </p><p>"<em>Now</em>," he said, the grin widening to worrying dimensions. "You must complete the pre-post-pre-preliminary paperwork, after which, of course, comes the post-pre-preliminary paperwork, the preliminary paperwork, the pre-post-preliminary paperwork and post-preliminary paperwork, followed by the pre-post-post-preliminary paperwork, and the post-post-preliminary---"</p><p>"I get the picture!" Sarah shrieked, visions of being trapped inside an endless maze of paperwork stretching out before her in nightmarish detail.</p><p>The Goblin King studied her horrified face for a long moment, then nodded with obvious satisfaction and drawled, "Yes, Sarah, I believe you do."</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p><br/>
<em>Hours later.</em>..</p><p>The grandfather clock in the foyer was striking midnight when Sarah awoke with a start on the sofa . She stared frantically at her hands, which were blessedly ink-free, then shot to her feet and raced up to her parent's bedroom to check on her brother. Toby was fast asleep in his crib, looking like a sweet little peppermint stick in his striped pajamas. She sighed with relief, tucked Lancelot the teddy bear into Toby's crib as a silent apology for her earlier behavior, and then trudged to her own room. She was utterly exhausted despite the fact that she'd apparently fallen asleep.</p><p>Her bedroom was quiet and normal and blessedly free of goblins, chickens, or paperwork. She sank onto the chair in front of the vanity and studied her reflection in the mirror. She looked a bit frazzled, but maybe that was to be expected after a nightmare like that. And it <em>had</em> to have been a dream. Goblins didn't answer careless wishes and steal baby brothers in real life. Although maybe it wouldn't hurt to be a little nicer to Toby in the future. (And to avoid any situation involving bureaucracy. Just in case.)</p><p>"It was only a dream," she said aloud, trying to convince herself. Her reflection looked skeptical. "It <em>was</em> only a dream. Right?"</p><p>Her reflection had no answers for her... until it did. Or rather, the blond-haired masculine image that <em>replaced</em> her reflection did. "Oh, was it now?"</p><p>The Goblin King smirked at her from the mirror, startling her into almost flailing from the chair. Reacting purely on instinct, she snatched up a hairbrush and brandished it at him like a weapon.</p><p>"You!"</p><p>"Me," he agreed. Only now the voice was behind her.</p><p>Sarah spun around to find him standing beside her bed. He was once more dressed in intimidating black armor, which for reasons she'd rather not think about now reminded her of nothing so much as a giant, glittering ink spill.</p><p>"I'll be keeping an eye on you, just to make sure there are no further incidents with your brother," the Goblin King promise-threatened, hands on his hips. "And, Sarah... Just so you know, <em>this</em>--" A flick of his wrist covered the bed in towering, teetering stacks of paper. "--is the repeat offender pre-preliminary form. <em>It</em> has to be filled out in <em>triplicate</em>."</p><p>She choked on a gasp. The stacks toppled, an avalanche of white sliding off the bed and spreading to the floor as if it would bury her and her room in infinite paper.</p><p>Laughing, the Goblin King vanished in a cloud of glitter and owl feathers. Sarah's screech of outraged denial -- and the hairbrush -- followed him as he (now in the shape of an owl) flew into the night, white in the moonlight, black against the stars and utterly satisfied in the knowledge of another job well done.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"...white in the moonlight, black against the stars" is a direct quote from the novelization.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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